Marriage

My parent's anniversary was Sunday, December 18th.  My dad proudly announced that it was their 42nd anniversary.  They never made a huge deal of the event through the years.  We knew they gave each other gifts and that Dad brought Mom roses.  What I remembered that day was the wonderful example that they set for all of us of what a marriage should be like.
They never hesitated to hold hands in public or kiss in front of us.  Their kisses were always met by dramatic "yuck"s and "ew"s.  But I'm so grateful that I know my parents love each other.  Sometimes they'd have disagreements in front of us, but I know they tried not to argue when we were around.
I knew from the way they looked at each other and talked to each other that they were just as in love as they'd ever been.  They took care of each other through illness with such love and tenderness that you'd have to be crazy to not believe it.
I pray that one day I'll be able to find that kind of love for myself.  I'm so grateful that my parents taught what to look for and not to settle for less!

Christmas Cookies & Holiday Hearts

Our Christmas season always started with Christmas cookies!  I swear Mom spent at least 50% of the holidays in the kitchen.  The house always smelled delicious when I got home from school!  We kicked off the season with gingerbread houses the day after Thanksgiving (which I tried to do this year and failed at miserably).  I always ate so much candy and gingerbread dough that day that there was no need to eat lunch.
Closer to Christmas, Mom would invite the grandkids over to make and decorate sugar cookies while their parents did some Christmas shopping.  I hope that my nieces and nephews remember how fun those times that they got to spend with Grandma were!
One thing that always made Christmas feel Christmasy for me was the fudge.  Mom's fudge was delicious!  Hopefully I can find her recipe somewhere.  (And understand it.)  If I could be half as good at cooking as my momma was, I'd be one happy girl!

Still, Still, Still

Christmas time has always been a time for performing in the Zabriskie family.  Mom loved the opportunity to serve and showcase our talents at the same time!
One number we've all probably performed more times than we can count is Still, Still, Still.  Mom arranged many, many versions of this song, depending on who was available to perform.  We have instrument parts for harp, violin, and flute and parts for each voicing, any and all of which can be played together.

Harp, flute, and tenor parts for Still, Still, Still.
All hand written by Mom.

We're singing the same arrangement in choir this year, and I think of her every time we sing it.  I'm so grateful that she taught me to serve through music!  

Flowers

I often go walking in meadows of clover,
And I gather armfuls of blossoms of blue.
I gather the blossoms the whole meadow over;
Dear mother, all flowers remind me of you.

O mother, I give you my love with each flower
To give forth sweet fragrance a whole lifetime through;
For if I love blossoms and meadows and walking,
I learn how to love them, dear mother, from you.


I will always think of my mom when I see beautiful flowers.  She knew the names of so many flowers!  We got to go to the Homestead Resort each year for superintendent meetings.  If you haven't been there, I highly recommend it.  It's such a beautiful and relaxing place!
Mom and I spent lots of time walking and jogging the grounds there.  I would always point out flowers that I liked and she would tell me the name.  The ones I pointed out year after year were the columbine.  They were in full bloom while we were there, and absolutely beautiful!  Every year, she had to tell me the name of these flowers that I loved.  You'd think I would have learned the name after the first time or two, but I was glad she was there to tell me.

Remember...

It's completely and totally incomprehensible if you haven't been through it personally.  Even then, it's not the same for everyone.  It's impossible to know how it feels to have your best friend, biggest fan, teacher, and mentor torn from you.  No one will ever love you the way your mom does, and it's something you rely on on a daily basis.  As a teenager, anyway.  Nothing can replace that.  And learning to function without it, well, it's fairly torturous.
I miss my mom more than I can begin to describe.  I am so afraid of forgetting her: forgetting what she taught me, who she was, what she stood for, and what she exemplified.  I don't want to remember her sick, I want to remember her healthy and active.
I thought about doing a scrapbook of my memories of momma, but I decided this would be faster and easier.  I'm excited to become reacquainted with my mom through this blog!
Please note, this is mainly intended for personal use.  I hope that people are able to benefit from her beautiful life and example.
I love you, momma!