More than once in my life I've felt bombarded by media and opinions that say it's not okay to be SO feminine. Women have to be tough, muscular, independent, strong willed, opinionated, outspoken, and, last but definitely not least, a sex symbol. I've even heard men talk about how they want a woman who knows how to play video games, hunt, is super athletic, and enjoys other masculine things. Now I'm not saying that any of these qualities are negative. Many of them are good and even desirable. But I feel that as a whole the world has moved toward discouraging femininity.
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| My "I'm playing a dainty female in a musical" pose |
It's gotten me thinking, where does that leave me? I like looking pretty every day. I like girly things, like pink and lace, and I really just love princess movies. The idea of finding a prince and having a happily ever after makes me almost giddy. I also love the sappy, unrealistic musicals. In fact, if I'm not playing an obnoxiously female character in a show, I'm probably less-likely to convincingly play the part. I'm not really in to the whole athletic thing; dance is my favorite form of exercise. Even in my emotions and the way I express myself I'm very much a girl. I definitely do the whole screeching, running, hugging thing when I see a close friend that I haven't seen in a while. I get worked up over stupid things that don't matter, I can be ridiculously boy crazy, and I'm not real good at masking the girly, hormonal emotions that I often feel.
I couldn't help but wonder if it's a bad thing to be so incredibly female, and if I am out of style and out of touch because of my seemingly old fashioned love of femininity. I was pondering on these ideas last night as I was going to bed, and a quote popped in to my head. After quite a bit of searching, I found it in a talk by Margaret D. Nadauld from General Conference of October 2000.
"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are course; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity" (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2000/10/the-joy-of-womanhood?lang=eng&query=%22we+need+more+women+who+are%22).
So what does this all have to do with my momma? This blog is dedicated to her, not my random soapbox rants, after all. The reason this quote so easily came to the surface of my mind, was because it had been engraved in my soul by the most exemplary women I've ever known. You guessed it, my beautiful mom! She loved this quote, and she is the perfect example of the desirable attributes listed. (Now, I'm going to speak of things that my mom IS, not that she WAS, because I know that she still embodies the attributes that she exemplified in life.)
My mom is the toughest woman I know. And yet she is also tender and gentle. She fights her battles with courage and strength, but also with grace and elegance.
She is the hardest working woman I've ever seen. She can paint and garden and move furniture with the best of them. But cooking, cleaning, sewing, crocheting, and doing other things that feminists might disapprove of are always were she loves to spend her time.
Every morning at the crack of dawn, she was out jogging. Not in excess, just for about a half an hour each morning. She takes pride in her body as one of God's creations, but never allows that pride to make her prideful.
She does her best to look her best, but she isn't vain in any way. I remember her once telling me, "Do your best with yourself in the morning, and then once you've walked out the door, turn your attention to others." And that is exactly what she does. I don't remember her ever going out in public "looking like crap," but she isn't high maintenance. She doesn't need a lot of things. But she always tries to look her best, and then focuses on those around her.
She is a free thinker, has her own opinions, and can stand up for herself when she needs to. But mostly she listens selflessly as others express the desires of their souls.
My mother is all of these things, because she lives what she believes. It is her understanding of her divine nature as a daughter of God that causes her to be a woman who is tender, kind, refined, faithful, good, virtuous, and pure. She understands that she has been selected by our Heavenly Father to care for her children, to bring them up in righteousness, to nurture them with kindness and care. And she knows that Heavenly Father blessed her with four daughters so that she could teach them to be women of God.
If being feminine and enjoying doing feminine things make me more like the woman I call mom, then I'm okay with that. Heavenly Father made women to be more gentle with a purpose. It helps us to fulfill our divinely appointed role as mothers of the rising generation. My mom taught me everything I know about being virtuous woman. I hope that one day I can be the woman that she raised me to be -- the woman that she dreamed and prayed that I would become!
